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I know doll-faced Fingertalks through her blog and real life. We egg each other on to continue updating our blogs, which usually turns into a pen-flinging contest over cubical walls.
I’ve been bugging her for MONTHS to post on a particular topic. And since SHE HAS NOT , I’m going to give my perspective and LIGHT A FIRE UNDER HER ASS. (CAPS!)
A few months ago, Fingertalks was crushing on a guy deemed Casanova. I don’t believe in the “league” thing. But if I did – I would define him as scalping tickets in Utah to the World Series between the Yanks and Red Sox because he didn’t know what the hell he had or what to do with it. I digress.
Some people can feel down and out when crushes/relationships end. So I enrolled Fingertalks on a dating Web site. Behind her back. I’m an evil genius.
I had to scrape her jaw off the floor when I told her the next day. And the fun has ensued. She hasn’t gone on a date (yet!) but I constantly pester her to check her many, MANY emails from potential lovers. Or stalkers. It’s a very fine line.
I just wanted her to see what kind of guys are out there in the big world. Or the tri-state area at least. Don’t get me wrong – for every 2451 guys that send a message, there may be one that potentially won’t suck.
I was certainly was a skeptic at first. All those creepy messages – the guy who expressed a need to cuddle with me, the 60-year-old that wanted a family – can bug a girl out. Even the dates could flop - I went on a date where the guy hummed every time there was silence. I told myself to ditch online after that. But I scheduled another date, with another guy – just to be sure I was done with the web dating.
Now we’ve been seeing each other for nearly nine months. I don’t assume it will work for everyone – but I think Fingertalks should give it a try. Or at least tell you what kind of guys she attracted. The results are wonderful!
A little more than a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. Don’t cry for me Argentina – you too Paraguay. So in between the break up and the meet up with my current (wonderful) boyfriend, it’s safe to say I “dabbled” in the dating world.
I went on one date with this guy – we’ll call him Jess (because that’s his name) – and he never called me after that one date. It was an okay date – walk around Hoboken in the freezing cold, grab a milkshake, talk about life’s randomness. He impressed me by bringing me flowers and a mini stapler (I was really special). You know, what 14 year-olds dream of for a first date. Without the copious amounts of giggling. At the end of the night we parted with an awkward hug and that was basically the last I heard from him.
That is, until Thursday. He decided to send me an email apologizing for never calling me – and calling himself a jerk. He detailed a list of personal family problems for excuses – and then explains that those aren’t excuses and he should have called me. (To any guys out there – don’t tell a girl your entire life story and then say “but I still had time – I could have called you.” That will just piss us off further. I promise.) He then says, several times, that his lack of communication has bothered him for months and he planned on emailing me much sooner.
And he should have – because I could have reassured him that I didn’t care. Did he think that our one date was groundbreaking, and by him not calling I would throw myself into a deep well of depression? Or that I was sitting at my computer, constantly hitting the refresh button, waiting anxiously for another email? Wondering, “Why didn’t he call? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!”
Eh. I lived. And what do you even write back to that? “Yeah, um, sorry but – I kind of moved on. Months ago. Pretty much two days later. Sorry you wasted months toiling over whether or not to email me. You shouldn’t worry about stuff like that. Have a great life!”
The only time I remembered him was when that damn stapler broke. I miss that stapler.
