Monday, October 6, 2008

have a magical day!



Another week, another business trip. This time it was off to Orlando - just a monorail away from the Magic Kingdom. Here are the top five things I learned from my trip:

Florida boys can dance. My co-worker Kim and I kicked off the trip by spending a night on Pleasure Island, which isn't as dirty as it sounds. We order round after round of "Rage in the Cage" with glowing fake ice cubes and watched the regular crew dance their asses off. These guys had set dance moves they were pulling out - no wonder Backstreet Boys and NSYNC came from Orlando. But then again, anything more than the standard Jersey fist-pump would impress me.

Only cute kids are allowed in Disney. We did not see one ugly kid while we were down there. I know, I know - all kids are "cute." But these children were mutantly adorable. Rosy cheeks, pig tails, gap teeth, light up sneakers. The works. And some were dressed up in Halloween costumes for a parade (a ploy to buy more Disney merchandise) and the kids were dressed up as cowboys, Nemo and even a golfer. We were drowning in cuteness.

Fanny packs are en vogue. No respectable tourist would walk around Disney without it. Some were even in fluorescent colors. I didn't think anyone sold fanny packs any more, but there must be a secret store right outside the gates that were giving them out. I just didn't get the memo.

They must drug the water. All the employees are ridiculously happy and are just waiting to help you. And they shout "HAVE A MAGICAL DAY!" at the end of every conversation. I had to supress my Jersey instinct to throw the bird everytime I heard it.

When they say 'all-you-can-eat,' they mean it. We stopped at Ohana's where they bring out exactly a ton and a half of food. We kept repeating we were full, then followed that by another dumpling. Then when you can't finish your meal, they heckle you and give shove skewers of meat in your face. But at least they roll you back to your room.

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