sunburn and beer - the best combination

I'm not big on sports. I watch two "sports" on television:

1. Legends of the Hidden Temple - Try and tell me that you never dreamed of being a Red Jaguar or a Silver Snake? (No one wanted to be the Purple Parrot - they always lost.) Olmec's baritone voice always got to me - and the temple guards still haunt my nightmares. (By the way - google "Olmec: Sex Therapist.")

2. Ninja Warrior - Do I need to explain this one? These guys just can't get enough of that wall crawl. And the translations are the best.

Anyway, sports. First was the Yankee game on Sunday. I stupidly forgot to slather sunscreen on my translucent skin and got burned on one side. ONE SIDE OF MY BODY. I would have been fine if I was evenly scorched - but I don't like looking like half a tomato. My boyfriend lovingly referred to me as Two-Face. At least I'm going to say it was lovingly for his sake.

Then yesterday was Rutgers football. Tailgate started at 11 a.m. - skip breakfast, just pass me the Blue Moon. Five hours and a few drinking games later we hit the stadium - at least I think we went in the stadium. It was a little fuzzy after the first "RU!" chant. Since my college didn't have a football team, it was just fun to watch students and alumni scream at players at the top of their lungs. I wanted to tell one very loud girl behind me, "I'm not sure if Kordell Young heard you offending his skills, manhood or mama. You should repeat that just in case." But I promised not to start a fight that day. Darn it.

Two days, two games - and both teams lost. I feel like a damned Purple Parrot.